[censored] at the ATM…calm down (part 2)

Posted: 2012/05/30 in Basketball, NBA, Random Silly Stuff
Tags: , ,

Deshawn Stevenson…tsk tsk tsk. Oh, Deshawn! 🙂

If you haven’t heard…he’s not Michael, Magic or Bird…oops, I mean DeShawn Stevenson put a damn ATM in his kitchen. Let me repeat DESHAWN STEVENSON PUT AN ATM IN HIS KITCHEN!

Well, since DeShawn opened the door for this, let’s talk about thenumber$“. According to NBA.com DeShawn (a 6’5″ guard for the Nets) averaged 2.9 points , 2.0 rebounds and 0.8 assists a game in this 2011-2012 NBA season. “All” in  18 minutes per game! Stevenson scored one more basket than you or I did and we never laced up our sneakers to play an NBA game this year (I’m still holding onto the hope that I will be picked up by a franchise next year…anyone need a 5’5″ point guard ?).

As a matter of fact, Stevenson has never even cracked the 12 point per game mark over an entire NBA season.

I thought you had to AT LEAST have 20 before the ATM would even “talk to you” (as Chris Rock would say). This was the ridiculous sports story of the day and I have to give it up to DeShawn for putting a smile on my face.

All kidding aside (well not all kidding), WHY does he need an ATM in his kitchen? Does he really have THAT many hookers coming through his front door (check the name of the blog)! That is the ONLY reason I can think of for a grown man to have an Automated Teller Machine in his kitchen!!  In the words of Chris Rock  “Have you ever taken $200 out of  the ATM at 3am for something positive!?” .

You know I’m right! 🙂

And If you see the picture (below) you will notice that he is dressed like the love-child of Nicki Minaj and Andre 3000 (but there is a paternity conflict because “Lucky” the “Lucky Charms” cereal  Leprechaun is in the mix).

Maybe it’s more innocent than I think. Maybe he gambles with his buddies and he is tired of them not paying him his money. There is only so muchI need to go to the ATM “dawg”…you live too far away from the city, man!” you can take from your “boys”. 

A  lost bet is the only way he could explain that outfit!  😦

Much like his awful shooting percentage this season and those pants…DeShawn is showing terrible decision making . He definitely missed the  mark again with his “household ATM” pics.

He has an “insane” obsession with money, though. He has a five-dollar bill tattoo on his trachea and dollar signs across his back! Maybe the answer is in the photo he took next to his home ATM…

If that kid in the pic on the right-hand side is DeShawn as a kid, I think we have the answer. It’s another case of “awkward kid builds himself up and shows off when he is a (no less awkward) adult”.


As a banker (by trade), this was the perfect storm of silliness…almost tailor-made to make me die laughing.

Oh Man, I love the NBA…but what are you doing to me? I told you  that you were paying role players WAAAAYYYY too much money, NBA.

My silliest blog in weeks but it’s fun stuff .  A  more serious blog is on the way…


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