“Hard” (to listen to)! The new will.i.am track review

Posted: 2011/12/17 in Music
Tags: , , , , ,

 Really will.i.am? This song is pure shit. Of course I am talking about Will.i.am’s latest single “Hard” (minus his Black-Eyed Peas band mates). The more I listen to it the worse it gets. At the risk of sounding like the “dreaded” hip-hop “hater”; I am not ashamed to say it SUCKS. You want proof? Okay, here is my 4-part breakdown:

1.) That “go hard” or “go home” hook. WTF. Not only is it terribly inane, but it is so transparent in its attempt to be a commercial for the NBA or some sports drink (in the future), that I can almost hear will.i.am and Nike climaxing in the background. Disgusting.

2.) That lazy ass club beat. When Timbaland started bringing hip-hop to the “club” back in the mid-late 1990s it was a revelation…well all good things must come to an end. And all of these lazy producers, hijacking club sounds and energy for weak songs,  have made sure of that recently (sadly, even Timbaland has done this to some extent)…Here, william throws a little distortion on a “fat” bass line and a minor-key beat and instantly it is supposed to be “hot” (foregoing momentum, creativity, or even dynamics)! What!?

3.)The lyrics and rapping. “This beat is so hard” is the first thing out of his mouth. He’s actually trying to convince us that this song and “the beat” are worth the next 4 minutes that it is about to steal  from our lives. I won’t even get into the “this song is the shit…feces” lyric. He even said “you go get a demon , imma get jesus”. For real, Will? Where did that left-field shit come from. Someone’s having a breakdown.

And Finally…

4.) His collaborators…Oh his collaborators! He actually got J-lo to sing that boring-ass hook. You get the feeling that he wanted Fergie to do it but she said “Hell No, get J-lo to do it“. The fact that J-lo did it shows that she still isn’t confident in her new (and i say better) singing voice. If she was, she would NEVER do this crap. His other collaborator was Mick Jagger…yeah, Mick has finally lost his damn mind. Or maybe he is just trying to get some “brown sugar” from J-lo.

All in all a very weak effort from Will.i.am.

I really wanted to like this song. Will is usually good for a mindless (but not dumb) club tune that gets your body moving. Plus, any song with any iteration of my last name, I automatically want to like. That way I can sing the motherf*%#^r when I’m in club or in conceited mode. I was thoroughly annoyed with this piece-of-crap song. It’s like he is insulting the listener’s (or his own)  intelligence here.

If you are thinking about buying this single, I will tell you what  they told MC Hammer back in the day:                           “Save your money, Man. Save your money.”

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